I LOVE this story:
Abe has a job that takes him everywhere and he frequently has problems finding a synagogue in some of the towns, so he figures G~d is everywhere and decides to go into a Catholic church to worship. He takes out the Tallis, puts on his yarmulke, dresses himself and proceeds to pray.
The Priest comes in and wants to start the services, and, having heard the whispers from some of his congregants, he stands up and says, “Will all non Catholics please leave.”
Abe goes right on davening.
Next request, again, “Will all non-Catholics please leave.” Nobody moves or responds.
Finally, the Priest gets up and says loudly, “WILL ALL JEWS PLEASE LEAVE!”
At this, Abe gets up folds his Tallis and packs it away, takes off his yarmulke, puts it away and goes up to the altar and picks up the statue of the baby Jesus and says:
“Come bubbela, they don’t want us here anymore.”